I had a message from a tenant who ran an auto body shop.  He said he was going to be late with the rent that month because his mother died.  I pulled his file and gave him a call.

Tenant:  Oh you’re lucky you caught me.  I’ve got to go catch a plane in a few minutes so I can make it to the funeral.

Me:  I’m so sorry.  Was this sudden?

Tenant:  She had been sick for a while but we thought she was getting better.  We’re all in a state of shock.

Me:  I can imagine.  I seem to recall she died last March.

Tenant:  What?

Me:  You had told me she died last March.  You needed to pay the rent late because you had to cover her medical bills and funeral expenses.

Tenant:  No.  No that’s not what happened.

Me:  It’s not?  You didn’t ask for rent relief to pay for you mother’s medical bills and funeral expenses in March?

Tenant:  No.  No.  No that was my grandmother.  You have things confused.  My grandmother died then.  She was like a mother to me so maybe I slipped up when talking about her.

Me:  Oh I’m sorry.  Was this the grandmother in Texas?  The one who died in November and you couldn’t pay the rent on time because of her medical bills?  Or the other grandmother who died in July and you couldn’t pay the rent then either?

Tenant:  What?  I can’t talk about this right now.  I’m very upset.   I can’t hear you well either, it’s a bad connection.  I’m at the airport about to get on a plane.

Me:  Come on, you’re not at the airport.  I called you, remember?   I’m talking with you on your shop land line.  How many moms and grandmothers do you have?  My file is full of them and they seem to die a lot.  Look, you’ve been busted.  You can’t make the rent for some reason and telling me a story isn’t going to help the situation.  So stop the bull and just talk with me about the problem.  What is going on?  Maybe I can help you through this.  Just be straight with me.

Tenant:  OH MY GOD!  I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DON’T BELIEVE MY MOM HAS DIED!  MY MOM HAS DIED!  DON’T YOU HAVE A HEART?  THIS IS THE MOST HORRIBLE DAY OF MY LIFE!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Me:  Your mom is Mrs. Tenantlastname, right?  She lives at 123 Street here in town?  She’s right here in the white pages.  Do I really need to call her?  OR do you want to just cut it out and talk to me about what is going on with the rent?

Tenant:  You don’t have to call her.  I’ll talk about the rent.

Me:  Great.  Glad to hear it.  So tell me what is going on.

Tenant:  It’s not right of you to say you’re going to call my mom though.  That’s blackmail.  That’s not right.

Me:  Really now?  This coming from the son who just said she was dead.  Several times dead!   That‘s not right.

The bottom line was he liked going to Vegas with his buddies and was losing too much money on some of the trips.  His answer to that problem was to claim that someone died and buy some time to get caught up on his bills.

For the record, I wouldn’t have called his mom. Poor lady had enough on her plate with a son like that.