I got a few reports about roof leaks on a newly built office building.  The roof was still under warranty so I sent out the roofing contractor to check on the problem.  He sent back a written report denying the warranty claim.  He stated that the leaks were caused by a bunch of debris on the roof and not due to any workmanship issues.  I had no idea what he was talking about. I had just been up on the roof a few weeks before and it looked great.  I called him up and asked what was going on?  I wanted him to honor his warranty!  He just laughed and said the roof leaks were caused by some junk up on the roof and he didn’t want to get into the middle of anything.  He wouldn’t explain anything more.  The building was an hour away from my office so I couldn’t just go look at it myself so I asked a contractor who was working nearby for a favor.  I told him what was going on and asked him to go up on the roof and take some pictures for me.

He sent the photos.  They showed plastic lounge chairs up on the roof with the legs deeply jammed into the roofing material.  The chairs were surrounded by champagne bottles and plastic cups and broken glass.  There was a photo of a pair of women’s underwear and some mens socks.  Pizza boxes and condom wrappers.  It looked like a party crime scene!  I was hopping mad!  Why hadn’t anyone told me about this?  Who was getting up on the roof and screwing around?  Why didn’t the roofing contractor tell me what he found up there?

Then the last photo came through.  Under one of the chairs was a nice leather business card holder full of cards for the property owner’s 25 year old son.  That explained why no one was tattling.  No one wanted to be the one pointing fingers at the property owner’s kid and his rooftop love nest.

I got the roof cleaned up and returned the business card holder to the son.  He was happy to see it again since he thought he had lost it.  He was happy until I told him where I found it. He agreed to find a new party spot and I agreed to not tell his dad so long as he got the roof fixed.

Who said romance is dead?  Drunken sex in a lawnchair on top of an office building roof…oh my…. the hum of the air conditioning compressor… the view down on the trash enclosure…the smell of the roofing tar can all be oh so intoxicating, I’m sure.