I delivered little ribbon wrapped bundles of daffodils to the tenants in an office building that I managed. There was a card included with each bundle that wished them a Happy First Day of Spring and thanked them for their business. Nearly all the tenants appreciated the little gesture. Nearly all. Tenant: I want… Continue reading Wicked Witch of Spring!
A big stock brokerage company moved into the building where my office was located. Soon after they settled in one of their employees called to ask me for a recommendation for a delivery dry cleaner. I gave him the name of the cleaners located across the street. Then he called for a recommendation for a good place for… Continue reading Butler Service is Not Included
Tenant: You know what would be nice? If you didn’t make everyone pay rent in December! That would be such a nice holiday gift! Me: That would be really nice, but unfortunately we still have to pay all of the property expenses in December. We have the mortgage payments and insurance payments and utilities for… Continue reading I cancelled Christmas.
Tenant: I don’t like taking the elevator up to my office on the second floor. Is there any other way to get upstairs? Me: You could take the stairs. Tenant: No, I don’t like doing that either. Is there any other way? Me: Any other way to get upstairs? No. Sorry. That’s it. Tenant:… Continue reading I wish you could fly!
Tenant: Why do you keep sending all of these bills to me? Me: The rent statements? You get those every month as a reminder to pay the rent. Tenant: Well, I don’t have to do that anymore. I sold the business. Quit sending these to me. It’s not my problem anymore. Me: You sold the… Continue reading Stop messing up my con job!
A retail tenant called to report that his neighbors in the shopping center were spying on him and he wanted me to make them stop. I asked what they were doing. Paranoid Tenant: Every day they show up at the same time I do and park near my car. It’s like they’re following me! It’s… Continue reading They’re watching me!
A new tenant was consistently late with his rent payments. When I’d call him about the late payment he’d swear that he mailed it on time but then later he’d drop off the rent payment at the front desk. When he saw the late charges on his statement he got angry and called me about… Continue reading Adulting is Hard
There was a tenant in a small two-story office building. He sold advertisements in off-brand phone books and was really angry that no one used phone books anymore. He’d tell me off about it every time we talked like it was my fault that no one wanted his funky phone books. Phone Book Guy wanted… Continue reading Rub A Dub!
Tenant: When you come into my office like this it just makes me feel sad. Me: You mean when I serve you with legal notices because you haven’t paid the rent? Tenant: Yeah. You should try to bring joy with you instead of sadness. Me: Okay. Let me do that over again. I walked out… Continue reading
There was a heavy fog layer over the city one day and I got a phone call from a little coffee shop tenant located in a popular touristy retail center next to the boat harbor. Tenant: The fog is terrible today. No one can see my shop from the street! Me: Oh I know. It’s really… Continue reading THE FOG!
You'll Never Rent In This Town Again! 