I went to tenant’s shop to talk about how he was paying his rent late each month and was racking up a lot of late fees as a result. Me: I’m concerned that you’re still paying the rent late each month and you now have $425 of late fees on your account. You need to… Continue reading That’s now how this works.
A tenant hosted a big open house event in his office for the holiday. He invited many prominent people from the community and sponsored a children’s charity as part of the event. I stopped by and was pleased to see that things were going really well. There were a lot of happy people and… Continue reading It’s not stealing if you give it back later!
Before the holiday season kicked off I sent out a memo to all of the tenants in an office building to remind them that real Christmas trees were not permitted due to fire safety regulations. Only artificial trees could be used for decoration inside the building. Later that week when I visited the building I… Continue reading It’s a bird, it’s a plane…it’s a Christmas tree!
I met a potential tenant at a shopping center to show him a vacant space for rent. He showed up covered in tattoos, wearing sagging pants and sporting a black eye. Me: I’m going to assume you’re not really a dentist like you said on the phone. Tenant: No I’m not. I want to open… Continue reading Honesty is usually the best policy
We had evicted a nightclub operator and were taking him to court to collect a financial judgement. This was a conversation in the courthouse hallway before the hearing. Tenant’s attorney: We’d like to settle this account with you right now. Here is a spreadsheet showing the arrangements. You’ll need to write-off a portion of the… Continue reading Just Business
A tenant reported that the toilet kept backing up in her work studio. While clearing out the waste pipes the plumber pulled out big wads of lettuce, celery and other green food waste. There was a lot of it. It was like a horrible sewage salad. When this was shown to the tenant she admitted… Continue reading It’s only natural.
Tenant: You’re only evicting me because I called you a bitch! Me: I’m evicting you for not paying the rent. I’m only enjoying it a little more because you called me a bitch.
An irate Tenant called me one morning: Tenant: I want you to stop putting flavoring in the air conditioning ducts! The smell is really bothering me! Me: I’m sorry, but we don’t put any scents into the building air system. Tenant: OH MY GOD! Are you calling me a liar? I know what I am… Continue reading Savor the Flavor!
During a discussion with Tenant regarding fees that they owed but had not paid. Tenant: I’m not responsible for that. Me: Your lease says otherwise. Tenant: I don’t care what the lease says! I had a verbal agreement with the previous landlord and I know a verbal agreement stands up in court. I’ve seen it… Continue reading As seen on TV!
I received a call from a very upset tenant. Tenant: You have to fix this awful smell in my shop! I’m going to call the health department on you! It’s disgusting! My customers are complaining! You can’t expect me to pay rent for this! Me: I’m so sorry! I want to help but I need… Continue reading That Stinks!
You'll Never Rent In This Town Again! 