Part of a conversation with a potential tenant as we toured a vacant office space. Tenant: I will not pay for any utilities. Me: I’m sorry but the lease at this location requires that you pay for the water and electricity. Tenant: Okay. Okay. I’ll pay for the power but not for water! Just turn… Continue reading Hold it!
A retail tenant didn’t pay his rent and didn’t bother to show up to court for the eviction hearing. After he was served with the legal paperwork he saw me outside his shop and came running out cackling with laughter and waving the paperwork around. Tenant: These legal papers you sent aren’t valid! They’re not… Continue reading Words with Friends
My boss owned some agricultural land and I managed that in addition to his commercial properties. The land was about 40 acres of farmed row crops along side a separate acre with a house and barn on it. The farmland was leased to a big farming operation and my mother and grandparents were living in the… Continue reading Little Outhouse On The Prairie
A tenant was in the process of moving out of his office. He finished up early and came by to drop off his keys. Tenant: Yeah I’m all moved out except for a couple old desks and a broken fridge that I’m leaving behind. It’s all old junk and I don’t want any of it.… Continue reading One mans junk…is another mans junk
A very agitated industrial tenant calls me on the phone. Tenant: I’m locked out of my shop. Send someone to open it up immediately! Me: I’m so sorry but we don’t have keys to your space. You changed the locks when you moved in. Have you lost your keys? Is there something wrong with the… Continue reading You’re useless
There were two kinds of tenants who didn’t pay the rent. There were the regular people who ran into financial problems. They’d get in a bind and we would usually try to work out something to collect the rent and hopefully keep their business afloat and avoid legal costs. That was just part of the… Continue reading Sticks and Stones!
I received an emergency call through the answering service while I was attending a parade with my family. An office tenant was very upset and demanded to speak with me. Tenant: Why are the doors to the office building locked? This is unacceptable! Me: It’s July 4th. The building is closed for the holiday. Tenant: … Continue reading Happy Holidays!
While helping a tenant select new paint colors for his office. Tenant: This one is nice. What is it called? Me: Fresh Eggplant. Tenant: What? Why would they call it that? It’s not white. It’s purple! Me: Well, it’s a dark purple kinda like an eggplant. Tenant: Do I look stupid to you? Eggs are… Continue reading Do I look stupid?
Tenant owes many months of rent. Tenant is also married to my boss’s daughter. Daughter tells my boss that my accounting records are totally screwed up and demands a meeting to straighten me out. I go to the tenant’s office for the straightening-out meeting. Daughter is really angry! She tells me she’s paid the rent… Continue reading Magic Accounting
Someone was screaming into the phone the moment I picked up the call. Tenant: I’M NOT PAYING RENT UNTIL YOU FIX THIS HORRIBLE SMELL IN MY OFFICE! Me: What? What’s wrong? Who is this? Tenant: I’M NOT DOING YOUR JOB FOR YOU! :::hangs up on me::::
You'll Never Rent In This Town Again! 